I've been on hiatus. But I am back now. I don't really feel like talking about what has been going on. I was in the hospital for a week and have a bill of $5000 to pay for. I am currently staying with my parents in Gainesville, Florida. I want to go back to Orlando and work so I can be able to afford all of these payments. Its horrible. I hate being bi-polar. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful manager. I can't drive right now due to medication and seeing how it will affect me. My dad has a golf cart and I've been riding around on that and it's fun.

YAY!!!

The end. Sleep time. :)

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Any hunting including this animal - The Giraffe should be banned anywhere in the world! Hunting them should be illegal, especially since they are the world's tallest land mammal and do absolutely nothing to harm humans."

Boys ... boys ... boys. Boys will always be boys. They are always talking about how they don't understand girls. Well, I don't understand them.

Some are dicks. Some are the sweetest of souls. Some are in-between. Then, you have those who act one way around you and a total different way around their friends.

But what I don't get most is why guys want you when you're taken? It's strange. Is it because they want something they can't have? I have little to speak on this matter. The longest time I was single was for six months in 10th grade. The shortest time I was single was, lol an hour.

For the longest time I have always had someone there. A male presence in my life. Maybe it's because I hate being alone. I can't handle it. Now, I'm not saying I've never been single. I have. I just don't like it. lol.

But back to guys, why must they want you when your taken? When you aren't taken, they want nothing to do with you? It makes no sense! 

Is September 11th. Although to everyone this day is for mourning for me, It's my father's birthday. It also is the date of my first car accident in 2003. 

My father is 52 years old today. Time sure flies. I no longer have the car that I had in 2003. My Saturn was the first Saturn to ever come out. 1991 manual gray-colored. Plastic almost everywhere. It was not safe at all. But I do miss driving a manual sometimes, luckily my boyfriend has one :)

My car although used, 2000 Mercury Cougar. I got it in September 05'. Will be paid off in April :) Yes!! Looking forward to that. 

Other than that today, is a day to remember, a day to celebrate, and a day to be thankful for all we have. Please remember tomorrow is never promised, neither is the remainder of today.

I'm not one who typically watches award shows. In fact, the last time I watched an award show I Iived at home with my parents. But this year, the VMA's have been all the talk and Britney's "comeback performance" was getting so much talk about pre-show that i had to watch it.

I regret watching it. To start, I couldn't even watch the whole damn thing. Britney's "performance" sucked. You can tell she lip-synced. I don't know what she was thinking wearing barely nothing either. You think a mom fighting for custody of her kids would wear more than that. But I guess that's Britney for you. I've never been a fan and I never will be.

The VMA's themself, what the hell was that? It looked like a club with bogus awards. When they put the nominations on the screen you could barely see or understand who the hell the nominees were. It was annoying. I watched 38 minutes of it and it was a waste of my time. The VMA's sucked, what I watched did.

What did you think of the VMA's?

Why are people so stupid? It's annoying! What happened to getting an education and actually using it? What happened to knowledge? What happened to wanting to learn things? Forgive me, if I offend you, that is not my intention.

But seriously, why do so many people lack common sense? People say things and they just make me want to ask the question, "are you serious?" Is it that hard to think? Then again, is it that hard to use your brain? Yeah, I think it is. Because so many people are so damn stupid. They try and play it off like they are joking, but I have seen the same people daily make me laugh at them due to their lack of common sense and common knowledge.

Damn. I am not a genius. Nor do I consider myself intelligent. I do however, think I am smart. I am not in college. Yes, I completed high school with a 3.5 unweighted GPA. I had honors and AP courses. I was a nerd, so to speak. I am not ashamed of who I was and who I am. I went to school to learn things, I did. I learn new things daily. Why does it seem like the people I surround myself by know nothing? These people are in college. These people are getting a higher education than I am able to at this time, and yet I feel so much brighter than them. This isn't right. The world isn't right.

People, get smarter. Open a book ... learn something. Try to anyway. I'm sick of the stupidity. :::rolls eyes::: Okay, my rant is over. I apologize.

I worry about everything. Then come to my what if's ... and I keep thinking. I am stressed out every day. I don't recall the last time I wasn't stressed out. I'm 21 years old. I shouldn't be stressed out daily! But I am, I do, and I have been for quite some time. I don't think a day has gone by in the past 2 years, since I've been living here in Orlando, that I haven't been stressed out.

Why do I stress so much? If you lived here, you'd know why. The traffic ... let's just not get started. Summary, daily car accidents in the same spots, running red lights, no turn signals, crossing over solid white lines, tail-gating, not stopping at stop signs ... must I go on? I have severe road rage! People on cell phones either speed or go below the speed limit. It annoys me.

Other than daily traffic stressing me out. I have a job, which I have been hating for the past 3 months now. I don't want to leave, but things need to be changed. We got a new system, which is not new, it's like working with DOS-mode, but whatever and everyone is lazy there, and it pisses me off! So I just show up, do my time, and leave. I'm working on my resume to find a second job.

Oh, if you didn't know. I'm poor. How did that happen? lol. I don't know. I buy things I need, food, gas, pay the bills - that's it. But, hours got cut. I started my 401k plan in May and well ... my income just isn't what is was a month ago. But I'm not going to rant about it. But that is another contributing factor to my stress.

So, my three stresses, traffic, work, and money. Yay, daily stress for two years now. Will it ever go away? If so, how the hell do I get rid of it?

Beauty ... the world is surrounded by it. The media has a misinterpretation of it. Simple things seem to have been forgotten and that just isn't right.

Beauty, to me, is waking up, no make-up, all-natural and walking outside and seeing what you are surrounded by. Mother nature is the most beautiful thing in the world. 

I am so sick of the media trying to define beauty. When beauty is the every day. Beauty is what you are - no matter what shape or size you happen to be. Don't let a magazine portray how you look or how you feel. You are beautiful the way you are. No one should ever change their outward appearance because that wouldn't make you who you are. Be yourself, a true beauty and go outside and look at the beauty of nature that surrounds you.

Since I got so much feedback on my last blog about marriage and the last name, I am going to continue with it. I may start a debate here, but ... probably not.

I noticed several of you are old-fashioned and like the traditional way of things. And would take the man's last name. But what I don't understand is why? Really ... why? You have been given a name you were born with. Living with your name for 20 some odd years and you are going to change it for a man?

I'm sorry, but in this day in age. I thought women would want to change things rather than keep repeating history. I myself, know that if I become an author one day, Suzanne Kurtz will be on my books, not my future-husband's last name,  my last name. I was born with it, I'm dying with it. I'm not saying I won't take him name, I will and attach it to my own.

But, then I think, why do we as females have to take their last name? Why can't they take our last name? Shit, we give them babies, we carry them, they should carry our last name! I think the world needs a change and realize women live here. We need to make a stand for ourselves and make a difference! Man power, my ass, WOMAN power! I am woman, hear me roar, lol :)  But seriously, don't let a man tell you how to live your life and if they say they won't marry you unless you take their last name, they are not a man, they are a jerk and they need to get a life.

But then again, as I sit here and discuss marriage with you. I doubt I will ever marry myself. I mean it's just a piece of paper. What do you get out of marriage really? More taxes, and the right to put your spouse on health insurance. Okay, whatever. To me, it's a piece of paper and I don't need a piece of paper or a ring to declare my love for anyone. My heart should be enough :)

Don't get any bright ideas. I am NOT getting married any time soon. Long engagement, remember! I was watching Power of 10 on ABC and they asked a question that I have asked myself and I want to know your opinion.

When a female gets married should she take the man's last name? And if she does so, does she keep her maiden name or her middle name?

My opinion, I love my middle name. Not telling you what it is, if you don't already know it :)  Anyway, I would keep my last name and his last name do the whole dash thing. But, that's me. I also think why it's wrong to take a man's last name, why can't he take ours? lol.

What do you think of this? And if you get married are you keeping your name? What about your middle name? I want to know what you think